Evil Evil Beddy's Blog

Retro Gaming – My Amiga Upbringings Part 3........In to the wonderful …..

2011-09-06T20:50:00.002+01:00

Some of the fondest memories of gaming came from just one developer The Bitmap Brothers. These games encapsulated the 90s Amiga Genre while demonstrating (to me at least), that gaming soundtracks didn’t just have to be blips n bops.

The Bitmap Brothers were the first developers to try and model themselves with a rock & roll images. Photos of them usually involved a black & white shot with compulsory sunglasses and the famous one posed in front of Robert Maxwell’s helicopter. Founded by Mike Montgomery it included Eric Matthews, Steve Kelly, Mark John Coleman and Dan Malone. It was the latter who credited with the visual style that all the games encapsulated. The hype was planned tho

"The hype surrounding ourselves was all planned.", Mike Montgomery admits, "We wanted to change the attitude people have towards programmers. When you open magazines and see people dressed up looking really stupid it doesn't help our case as programmers to be taken seriously." Quote from here

My Dad didn’t bring home the Amiga 500 until 1989 so for me there introduction in 1988 was low key at first with Xenon and followed up the year after with Speedball. I suppose for me my fondness for Bitmap started in 89/90 with Cadaver (Xenon 2 was released before this but I’ll get back to that later). It was a game about a gold stealing dwarf and I remember first playing it on a demo disc from Amiga Format 9at the time I preferred Action Replay). The 3D style rooms decorated in rich blue/grey with hints of orange made it stand out from the other games of the time.

This followed in 1990 with Speedball 2. Initially I wasn’t too fussed about the 1 Player game as it seemed a lot of hassle for a quick bit of action. However after a while I gave the ‘Season Mode’ a bash and began to really get in to buying players to bolster parts of my weakened and usual battered field.

1991 was really Bitmaps halcyon year with the release of Gods and Magic pockets. Both of these games are remembered for there elaborate introductions using full soundtracks. Bitmap had upped their game for Gods as the soundtrack was supplied by Nation 12 which still holds up today. Combine this with the Box Art designed by comic book artist Simon Bisley the game for me was truly a landmark in Amiga gaming. Visually stunning with the Malone’s style the Game was praised for its AI adaptability.

The intro for Magic Pockets was less impressive as it didn’t contain any spoken words but did use the music for Betty Boo’s “Doing the Do”. It was also featured on (I think or something on ITV with Gaz Top) Going Live for a phone in competition which to be fair probably made it more popular than the music. The game was a strange concept of a kid who could pull all sorts of bubbles out of his pockets to defeat enemies. The longer you held fire the bigger the bubbles and the largest bubble captured the beastie in it. Thinking back another game afterwards called fire and ice was similar. I can’t imagine a game in these times coming out that used a boy fiddling around in his pockets as a main character.

It was at this point I found Xenon 2. When I say found it came in a triple disc box set with Silkworm and something else that involved scrolling and shooting. Xenon 2 was famous for its soundtrack been designed by Bomb the Bass. At the time I like Nirvana so I am sad to say that at the time I probably didn’t give a monkey. I’d always like R-Type but found I wasn’t as good as id wanted it to be. However, move the action from side to side to over the top view and apparently my hand to eye coordination improved.

Bitmaps Opus came in 1993 with The Chaos Engine which at the time I personally didn’t take to very easily. Looking back it’s a good example of where the likes of every 3^rd person shooter of today comes from. The over the top visuals and array of weapons it could easily be ported in to an XBL game (Seen as the far superior Alien Breed already has). It was a success though and in 1996 spawned a sequel.

The Bitmap Brother’s career was short and bright as releases after the Amiga didn’t hold up to the like of Doom and Wolfenstien. Speedball 2100 and Z: Steel Warrior proved poor successors and really by 2004 it was all over.

Retro Gaming – My Amiga Upbringings Part 2

2011-07-25T17:43:00.001+01:00

Good and Bad Times at Franchise High – The Amiga 500 and an odd mix of Franchise Tie Ins

I have had mixed experiences with tie-ins as they always ways lure me in .Batman was a game that I had seen my friend playing and loved the mix of platform action interspersed with Batmobile/Batplane action. Based on the Tim Burton movie which was massive at the time (I had read the book, gone to the cinema and had a t-shirt) He didn’t seem to progress much off the first 2 levels so I took it home for a full test. I remember sticky moments trying to clip the balloons with the plane and even dying right on the last level just as you went to knock the Joker off.

Robocop was a fairly run of the mill game but its saving graces were the “Dead or Alive you coming with me” voice recording, The ED-209 end bosses, the sniper type action with hostage takers and the big gun that fired a ball of flame. I did quiet like it though it seemed to have variety that many of these games lacked.

I’m rather fond of the Adams Family game which in ways was a Mario Clone. You played Gomez who had to visits parts of the House to free family members. I finished it out of sheer determination one rainy Sunday afternoon when the Amiga was in the Dining room under the stairs. It was the first time id finished a game and I was shaking through trying to kill the end of level boss and having 1 Heart left. Since then I’ve had it many times but it really proved to me trying hard and practice can pay off on these things.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade – The Adventure (Point n Click) was one of 2 games that came out when the film did. This was the better one with a point and click method of going through the various scene much like Monkey Island. I can remember working through this with my mate sat in his bedroom on a Saturday afternoon. Especially the built were our tied to the chair with Henry Jones Snr and had to knock the axe over first so u could line your chair up properly to free yourself.

Like I said the Indiana Jones Point n click was one of 2 versions the other was an Arcade version which I received as a present. It was awful. The first level you were the young Indiana Jones and if you were lucky to get to the next level you made your way along the train. I remember it been unresponsive and exceedingly hard.

As you can tell this is where I’ll share some of the poorer Tie-ins. The Silver medal goes to Ghostbusters 2 for generally been dull and difficult. The First Level you are lowered in to a sewer on a rope while various ghosts attack you. This bits ok but there is an annoying ghostly hand that saws your rope that was a pain to get rid of. I got this as a Christmas present too (There’s a Theme starting here). After some effort with no outcome, It didn’t come out the box much and I only made it on to the walking statue of liberty screen twice.

The Gold Medal for worst Tie In goes to this game The Amazing Spiderman and Captain America in Doctor Doom’s revenge. You’ll probably guess but this too was a present, I think I was lured in to ask for it for my birthday and the box looked like a glossy comic cell and it came with an exclusive comic book. That’s were the similarity ended, the movement of the characters was poor and the cast of Villains was borderline Z List for Marvel. It even had a hideous Doctor Doom laugh all the way through with a sound like “HAW HAW”. Watch the full game been played in 20 mins below and try and figure how many hours it took to be made.

Strangely this game haunted me right up to the Marvel Ultimate alliance on the 360 and after some poor Spiderman games on the Mega drive and Gamecube I didn’t think Marvel could do a good game.

Next Post Bitmap Brother and Sensible

Retro Gaming – My Amiga Upbringings Part 1

2011-07-25T17:28:00.001+01:00

Over the next few articles I hope to go through some of the iconic games of my youth.

I have always loved games since my Dad brought home a Commodore +4 and we played Icicle Works on a 14” TV.

Since then I’ve had various systems and consoles but none give me so much memories as my Amiga 500 I had as a teenager. Don’t get me wrong I have hammered my Xbox360 more than my Amiga could ever take. However, since the Xbox became prevalent I’ve found games are easier to complete and less frustrating

My system history int long but each system has been used to its up most

Commodore +4

Nintendo Gameboy

Commodore Amiga (and eventually the +1MB Memory upgrade)

Sega Mega Drive

Sony Playstation

Nintendo Gamecube

Nintendo Gameboy Advance

Xbox

Xbox 360

I think it’s more the sentimentality that takes over of a fun child hood because the load times, multiple discs and impossible game play are always far from my mind. Right up to when I got the mega drive I was playing with the joy stick pictured.

I’ll try to include You Tube clips wherever possible so you can watch the footage of the game and sometimes even see the whole game played through.

By Odin's Beard .... its Thor

2010-05-06T12:42:00.002+01:00

Off to Mars

2010-04-16T19:57:00.001+01:00

So President Obama has announced that NASA shall go to Mars?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8623691.stm

Well here’s a few tips from the movies for the guys at NASA

Watchmen 2009

Look out for a big Blue Man wandering round although he can provide Oxygen and a quick way home.

Doom 2005

When arriving on Mars do not dig around looking for artefacts as this could open up a portal to another dimension. By 2030 The Rock will be too old to save Earth’s arse cause the only thing he’ll be smelling is the daisy’s he’s pushing up.

War of the Worlds 2005

Take aged Tom Cruise with you on the landing mission he’ll be able to aid the astronauts escape when the Tripods start kicking off not by running like he did in the film but by giving them a corpse to feed on as you make your escape. Come to think of it take an influenza snot gun too.

John Carpenter's "Ghosts of Mars" 2001

Again, no digging for artefacts as you don’t want everyone possessed by Marilyn Manson look alikes … even if Ice Cube is carrying a shiny gun.

Mission to Mars 2000

Always and I mean always prepare for a cock up on the way there and again never press buttons to age old artefacts when standing right next to them. If you want to rid the world of Tim Robbins then leave him in charge of the mission.

Red Planet 2000

Don’t take a robot with you that in a previous role was developed as a killing machine no matter how much you want to pet it.

Mars Attacks! 1996

If Tim Burton teaches us anything then its take a record of Indian Love call by Slim Whitman with you. Any resistance to the US Lander will be resolved when you make there head explode. Ackk Akk acck ak akkk

Total Recall 1990

More Artefacts but this time it does result in giving Mars an atmosphere. However check there is a big glacier of ice before detonating. The Bonus is that you may see triple b****** women in one of the local bars

Capricorn One 1978

If it’s too expensive just fake it. Just make sure you whack Elliot Gould first

Quatermass and the Pit 1967

Found a dead locust-like creature that resembles the devil? Watch out these evil Martians may have altered the brains our ancestors so they can take over earth. Just Take Quatermass as the science officer and you’ll be fine.

Flash Gordon – Mars Attacks the World, The Deadly Ray from Mars and Flash Gordon's Trip to Mars 1938

In the event of a “Giant Death Ray” been aimed at earth when landing evokes a galactic incident please refer all complaints to Ming the Merciless. Although Queen Azura and her legions of Claymen and Treemen may act as the local postal service

A Trip to Mars 1910

Produced by Thomas Edison this was the first "movie" about Mars. It has some tips for NASA too; just mix two magical powders as it has the power to reverse gravity. But watch out there maybe Giant Martians that are harmless but they will blow any astronauts back to earth

Fantasy Football ? What About Fantasy Dirty Dozen?

2010-04-14T12:44:00.001+01:00

Donald Sutherland - Oddball - Kelly’s Hero's
Steve Guttenberg - Mahoney - Police Academy
Clint Eastwood - Lt Schaeffer - Where Eagles Dare
Robert Shaw - Quint - Jaws
Jack Burton – Kurt Russell – Big Trouble in Little China
Carl Weathers (the bloke who played Apollo Creed) -- Dillon - Predator
James Garner - Hedley -The Scrounger - The Great Escape
Frank Sinatra - Von Ryan - Von Ryan’s express
Lee Marvin - Feldwebel Rolf Steiner - Cross of Iron
Sam Elliot - Sgt Maj Plumley - When we were solders
Elliot Gould - Trapper - MASH
Michael Keaton - Ray Nicolette - Out of sight/ Jackie Brown

Full Metal Geek Out

2010-04-14T12:30:00.000+01:00

I went to see Kick Ass this week and really enjoyed it especially with the superhero references. I’m not a big fan of Nic cage but thumbs up for the Adam West Impression. The NY Post published this article about “Real” Life Superheroes roaming the Streets of NY. Take a look at these “soon to be staring in your Local Morgue” Heroes

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/evildoers_nyc_own_superheroes_beware_C07qjscAB2eh34P1CsUOCO

Speaking of Heroes, it looks like Joss Whedon is currently in line to Direct the Avengers Movie Featuring the Casts from Iron Man, Captain America, Thor and Hulk (with Nick fury thrown in). Good Call? I’m not so sure. Serenity was excellent but can we forget Alien 4? But then again who would have Guessed Kenneth Brannagh would direct Thor?

http://www.deadline.com/2010/04/marvel-close-to-whedon-hire-on-the-avengers/

What I found interesting is that Paramount only has a few films left before Marvel go to Disney. I hope I am not the only one worried at the Mouse taking control of such a varied franchise. Mind you at least they can’t do a worse job than the last X-men film. I just have a few requests for Stan Lee and the mouse though

1) Thomas Jane gets reinstated as the Punisher
2) No more Spiderman love stories, a little more action wouldn’t go amiss
3) Never ever cast Vinnie Jones in the X-men again
4) But do recast Alan Cummings as Nightcrawler

5) If you really feel the need to make anymore Fantastic Four Movies can you take a minute to think about Rise of the Silver Surfer

6) Daredevil’s ok but no more Ben Affleck and same goes for Nic Cage in Ghost Rider.

7) Robert Downey Jnr should only ever play Tony Stark

8) Take heart in the fact that nothing has been as awful as DC’s Superman Movie

9) Take note that Marvel haven’t done anything as good as Chris Nolan’s Batman (Iron man was close)

10) Blade needs a cameo somewhere as a new Blade movie would still not be as good as the original. But we all miss Mr Snipes.

11) Don’t change interesting Bad Guys – What they did with Deadpool in Wolverine was shockingly poor

12) And why wasn’t Gambit in more?

13) I want Marvel to create an Elvis Super Hero!!

14) Where the F**k is Moon knight!

15) Just Do Civil war as a trilogy next similar to Watchmen

Even a big bitch cockroach like you should know... never f**k with the King.

2010-04-13T16:33:00.000+01:00

Landed on this little bit of news, there will be another in the Bubba Ho-Tep Films !!

Set Before the Originals this one is entitled Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires with Ron Pearlman as Elvis and Paul Giamatti as Col.Tom Parker

Its Released in 2011

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0457295/

Save Evil Evil Beddy Appeal

2010-04-12T15:11:00.001+01:00

Apparently My Fiancée work mates think she controls me a little …. The names have been changed to protect the innocent

We don’t want to give little Evil Evil Beddy charity; we want to give him the means to escape himself. Break him free and he'll be back doing his captors chores in a week. Give him bolt cutters and a key and he'll be free of his daily chores for life

• Just £1 will get Evil Evil Beddy a pair of oven gloves so he doesn't have to take his captors cakes out of the oven with his bare hands.
• Just £5 will buy little Evil Evil Beddy a hat to keep him warm in the cold.
• Just £10 will buy Evil Evil Beddy some bolt cutters to help him escape his captor.
• Just £15 will get him a dog bed the same size as this Captors dog so he can rest at night before his breakfast duties.

Can you spare just £2 a month to help little Evil Evil Beddy break his shackles? For £2 a month, you will receive a signed picture of Evil Evil Beddy and an update on how his life has improved through your donations.

Every minute, every click of Bono’s fingers and Little Evil Evil Beddy does another chore

Stop this …Stop this now

Or tape Bono’s fingers together

Strangest Competition Ever !!

2010-04-12T08:48:00.001+01:00

From Lovefilm.com

or is there something familiar ?

Helllooooo ! is it me your looking for ?

Near Perfect Line up?

2010-04-09T13:32:00.000+01:00

Revolver Golden Gods Awards

What You two looking At ? Feed him to the Pigs

2010-04-08T19:26:00.001+01:00

All bets are off unless your an Insider then they are on ...

2010-04-08T12:41:00.001+01:00

Sometimes you read an article and realise that somewhere people invent money. I dont mean designing there own notes, i mean inventing markets that can make or lose millions. I saw this article in the New York Times and after reading it i am still aghast. Basically hedging movie contrats based on how successful a film would be.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/08/business/media/08futures.html?src=mv&ref=business

The thing that jumps out is how easy it would be to manipulate,

While the industry’s opposing comments were not yet final on Wednesday afternoon, Mr. Pisano and others said they were expected to cite a host of potential problems. Those include the risk of market manipulation in the rumor-fueled film world, conflicts of interest among studio employees and myriad contractors who might bet with or against their own films, the possibility that box-office performance would be hurt by short-sellers, difficulty in getting or holding screens for films if trading activity indicated weakness and the need for costly internal monitoring to block insider trades.

Sweet Jesus - they could sink the next Citizen Kane before it even was made but get the next Clash of the Titans to be the highest movie going

Eventually it will all be 3D blandness

Best Thing on TV all Year?

2010-03-31T20:21:00.000+01:00

Not The 3rd in the Cornetto Trilogy but good enough

2010-03-31T20:16:00.001+01:00

Kung Fu Elvis

2010-03-31T15:23:00.002+01:00

From Wikipedia ..

Presley was by now performing in a jumpsuit, which would become a trademark of his live act. During this engagement, he was threatened with murder unless $50,000 was paid. Presley had been the target of many threats since the 1950s, often without his knowledge. The FBI took the threat seriously and security was stepped up for the next two shows. Presley went onstage with a Derringer in his right boot and a .45 pistol in his waistband, but the concerts went off without incident

In January 1973, four men rushed onto the stage in an apparent attack. Security men leapt to Presley's defence, and the singer's karate instinct took over as he ejected one invader from the stage himself. Following the show, he became obsessed with the idea that the men had been sent by Mike Stone to kill him. Though they were shown to have been only over exuberant fans, he raged, "There's too much pain in me ... Stone [must] die."

(Stone was linked to Pricilla during thier divorce)

His outbursts continued with such intensity that a physician was unable to calm him, despite administering large doses of medication. After another two full days of raging, Red West, his friend and bodyguard, felt compelled to get a price for a contract killing and was relieved when Presley decided, "Aw hell, let's just leave it for now. Maybe it's a bit heavy."

When it All Goes Wrong - listen to Bill Shatner . . .

2010-03-31T11:37:00.004+01:00

Its not all Acid Blood and Pulling off Heads

2010-03-31T11:29:00.002+01:00

I told you 3D was bad

2010-03-31T11:27:00.002+01:00

From the Wall Street Journal

Major U.S. movie-theater chains, seeking to capitalize on the surge in revenues fueled by such 3-D hits as "Avatar" and "Alice in Wonderland," are imposing some of the steepest increases in ticket prices in at least a decade.

The new prices take effect Friday in many markets across the country in theaters owned by such major exhibitors as Regal Entertainment Group, Cinemark Holdings Inc. and AMC Entertainment Inc.

The increases, in one case as much as 26%, vary from theater to theater, but many cinemas are raising prices most—or even solely—for 3-D showings

If it Bleeds .......

2010-03-24T15:08:00.000Z

Interview with 'Predators' Creators Robert Rodriguez And Nimrod Antal

http://www.cinematical.com/2010/03/22/interview-predators-creators-robert-rodriguez-and-nimrod-anta/

Old News Dredged Up

2010-03-23T13:23:00.003Z

As an avid fan of the Mass Effect Series I have to wonder what Empire are playing at dredging this old story up.

http://www.empireonline.com/empireblogs/infinite-lives/post/p789

For those who don’t know, the original Mass effect courted controversy by including a story line path that caused the main character to bed a female member of the crew (whether she is human or alien). This wasn’t the main thing that caused moderates to start shouting though; it was the ability from the start to create a main of your choosing. So if you picked a female lead then it was possible for your character to end up in bed with a female team mate. This caused outcries from the less informed moral majority to ban Mass Effect

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mass_Effect#Controversies

So it bemuses me that with the introduction of Mass Effect 2, why this issue has come back. Apparently the Gaming world is not read for Inter Species Lesbian Liaisons; however it’s perfectly acceptable to pull a Marines Head off and polish his skull up for a trophy as a Predator in Aliens vs. Predator released not soon after.

Grab the Bull By the Horns !!

2010-03-22T09:23:00.000Z

When Movie Execs and cinema's whinge about piracy it always makes me want to bang my head against a wall when you see things like this

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8571186.stm

Lets have cinema release and on DVD in 2 months then people wont be downloading as muc (Please see previous post about taking a family to see a 3D film)

Then maybe just maybe i wont have to watch that stupid film industry clip thanking me for paying to see this film. Wonder how much "Gavin" from Gavin and Stacey got paid for that one

And to complete the Predators Pant Wetting ....

2010-03-20T19:48:00.004Z

More Predators Pant Wetting

2010-03-19T11:22:00.000Z

http://www.totalfilm.com/features/predators-everything-we-know/it-s-been-15-years-in-the-making

I dont Know What it is . . but its weird and pissed off !!

2010-03-19T08:43:00.003Z

The Thing Prequel Updates
http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=27334

http://www.totalfilm.com/news/casting-news-from-the-thing-prequel/?ns_campaign=total_film&ns_mchannel=email-n&ns_source=www.totalfilm.com&ns_linkname=0&ns_fee=0

I've Just Wet myself with Excitement

2010-03-19T08:40:00.004Z

Lets face it after the Drivel that was AvP:Requiem, I was always going to be dubious about another Predator film but with the line up and director behind Predators im now wishing August was upon me.

If that wasnt exciting enough its back in the Jungle

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1424381/

Green Zone? More Beige Zone

2010-03-18T11:15:00.003Z

Right don’t get me wrong this film is ok and if you want a DVD on a Friday night then this will do fine. However I was expecting much more from the Damon/Greengrass collaboration.

After Bourne this is refreshing to see Damon as a normal man and not an ubersolider. This is emphasised through out the film as he gets his ass kicked. Nonetheless from the opening WMD search you know where this film is going unless you haven’t read a newspaper in the past 10 years.

There are some nice touches with Brendan Gleeson been the stand out CIA man complete with a dubious American accent and Freddie the Translator. However the rest of Damon’s Team Seem to be faceless marines with no real back-story.

I think the real issue is that Iraq has become the new Vietnam but where as Vietnam movies relived the nostalgia of a war fought over a decade before these films seem too soon to be revelling in the politics of it all.

The Hurt Locker was different, demonstrating the adrenaline fuelled life that soldiers have to follow to only to come back to the real world of choosing what cereal you want for breakfast. Politics was not the issue society was.

I loveth when a plan doth come together !

2010-01-11T12:11:00.000Z

Well there’s been some interesting information on various sights. The first is the script reaction to the Coen’s Remake of True Grit with Jeff Bridges (which I mentioned in an earlier blog) and it’s all good

http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Script-Reaction-The-Coens-True-Grit-Remake-16379.html

Speaking of Jeff Bridges, someone with far too much time on there hands has re drafted the Big Lebowski Script in to a Shakespearean play. The Bard doth not abide!! My personal favourite quotes are “That rug, in faith, tied the room together, did it not?” and "I must protest; the Knave minds. This will not stand, this uncheck’d aggression;"

http://www.runleiarun.com/lebowski/

The next bit of news is that the A team Trailer has arrived with a mix of anticipation, happiness and a sense of doom.

http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=26669

http://goseetalk.com/2010/01/08/sweet-trailer-a-team-lo-rez/

Not news but a nice little article which is particularly suited to my Dad and his online rental list is this link. Never hire a DVD by name always check it’s the right one!

http://www.virginmedia.com/movies/movieextras/top10s/right-title-wrong-movie.php?ssid=12

And finally, I follow this blog. John August wrote the screenplays for Corpse Bride and Big fish. He regularly gives tips and insight in to how Hollywood really works. Check out his article on how the Oscar Voting system works

http://johnaugust.com/

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0041864/

A Different Christmas Poem

2009-12-22T15:22:00.001Z

I got this via Email - Please share

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,

I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.

My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,

My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,

Transforming the garden to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,

Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,

Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.

In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,

So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,

But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.

Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the

sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,

And I crept to the door just to see who was near.

Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,

A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,

Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.

Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,

Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

What are you doing?" I asked without fear,

"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!

Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,

You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,

Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..

To the window that danced with a warm fire's light

Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."

It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,

That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,

I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

My Grandfather died in France ' on a day in December,"

Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gran always remembers."

My dad stood his watch in the jungles of Burma

And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,

But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,

The red, white, and blue... a Union flag.

I can live through the cold and the being alone,

Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,

I can sleep in a trench with little to eat.

I can carry the weight of killing another,

Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..

Who stand at the front against any and all,

To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

" So go back inside," he said, "harbour no fright,

Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,

"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?

It seems all too little for all that you've done,

For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,

"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.

To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,

To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,

To know you remember we fought and we bled.

Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,

That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun - Katharine Hepburn

2009-12-08T15:59:00.000Z

Around a month ago a Swiss research company published a report on how console Games cause players to commit virtual crime. The basics of the report compared popular games against Human Rights Laws including the 1949 Geneva Conventions and its predecessor 1907 Hague laws.

It focuses on First Person Shooters (FPS) from various historical conflicts demonstrating that story lines do not show the players a correct way to fight a war.

It decided to include World War 2 and modern scenarios together then beat them with the same yard stick as it states that most players do not have in-depth awareness of the laws so they could compare them with broad strokes (they would be applying the 1949 and 1907 acts where appropriate though). It did differentiate between player and Computer Controlled Players (CPU) however it did count CPU imagery as it demonstrated the law incorrectly

However reading the report you can see the how heavily is forced in to making sweeping statements on the usual issue of “CONSOLE GAMES ARE BAD”. Click on the Link to read it,

http://trial-ch.org/fileadmin/user_upload/documents/Evenements_et_manifestations/Playing_by_the_Rule.pdf

I’ve played these games and want my side aired on the thin “violations”

Battlefield: Bad Company
Violations

1) Destruction of Civilian Property.
The law states that in a war zone civilian property should not be directly targeted however may be inevitable. However in Bad Company there are no civilians. Each hamlet is a stronghold that you need to clear and thus making it a military target. The report makes out your running through houses and blowing down Granny Clampet’s living room as she watches countdown with a grenade launcher and then stepping over the cat to shoot a mercenary. No you don’t. Houses are empty, no furniture. Presumably cleared by the enemy and thus breaking another law.

2) No assessment of proportionality.
True. But would a game be exciting when the level starts off with a risk assessment. Let’s just pretend that we had that meeting and it was deemed an appropriate response.

3) The stealing of Gold from Civilian Houses
Looting is prohibited in modern law however what the report fails to pick up is that the gold isn’t civilian it’s actually the enemies. Yes that breaks the law too but the report hints that you are robbing Ma Dingle of her pearls once you have blown a hole in her wall.

The premise of the game is that your team have gone rogue from the army (so probably not following any rules as your now wanted) and you are now trying to get rich from stealing gold paid to the mercenaries as wages, who have taken over an eastern European state. This gold is scattered not just in houses but on woods and islands.

Brother in Arms: Hells Highway
Violations

1) A woman is captured and turns up later to be hanged and you attack a church which is in use as a military target.
Yes these do happen in the game and is a violation. But what it fails to mention is that it’s not by you but the CPU player in the back ground. Yes that is a horrible crime to execute civilians. However the report failed to mention is historical context when applying historical laws. This is my problem – you can’t pick out historical law violations without applying the context.

The CPU player is in fact the SS, which were not famous for there rules of engagement and Geneva abiding. Are we to pretend these things never happened? Surely reminding of us of why we fought for the liberation of Europe is a good thing?

Call of Duty 4 Modern Warfare
Violations

1) Helicopter attack does not take into account of civilians.
Well there one reason for that – there are none. Like Battlefield it does not place civilians in the way of danger during the attack.

2) Civilian Property in towns destroyed
Again like battlefield the down is deserted (I assume cleared by enemy forces). However in call of duty you cannot destroy building and only go in ones that are objectives. Eg a TV Station

3) Introduction Movie includes killing of civilians
This is slightly interactive in the sense that you can move your head however contextually it does set out what is happening in a coup.

4) Killing of interrogated informant.

Yes these are definitely illegal but the report fails to mention that this section is not interactive but a movie sequence. The reason why the report focused on human rights violations in games and not movies was that they were more interactive. The scene itself does not require you to interact at all merely watch. So really they were scraping the barrel at this point.

True Crime Streets of LA
Violations

1) Brutal Police interrogation
Again this isn’t an interactive part just a movie your see

So really that’s all I have to say on the subject. Yes they do portray what technically be deemed as virtual crimes however the report leaves out massive detail and fails to realise contextual background theatrics. Whether the games industry takes note is really up to them but I’m guessing its already in the bin. Keith Vas however is probably wetting his pants.

Additional

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8373794.stm

One of our dinosaurs is missing ?

2009-12-08T12:52:00.002Z

How do you lose a 1.5m tall mechanised Dino ?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8400962.stm

Answers on a Postcard to the Mexico Police department although they have drafted Disney in as advisors

I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered! My life is my own.

2009-10-27T12:01:00.000Z

I have been very busy this week so I’ve not been able to update my blog. However found a few interesting articles. The first been the new picture of the A team. I have to admit I am slightly apprehensive about the film as the TV series in my opinion should never be touched. Just so they don’t destroy my fond memories of those Saturday evenings watching the A team and Robin of Sherwood. But hey it looks like it’s shaping up to a similar vision although I am not sure if it was such a good idea to try and make Liam Neeson’s look so much like George Peppard. However we all know the proof will be in the pudding. Fingers crossed it’s not another Miami Vice.

The second bit of news is that the Coen’s are remaking True Grit and that Jeff Bridges (Playing John Wayne’s Rooster), Matt Damon (As Roosters Side kick La Beouf) and Joss Brolin (As the bad guy Tom) are all set to star. Even Spielberg is sticking some cash in.

http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=26136

Following on from the Coen’s and including there next film serious man is this article highlighting the death of real drama in cinema and that the industry like to make films that fit in to a nice demographic box. I’ll not go in to detail as I won’t be able to do the article justice, but please read it here - http://www.filmcrusade.com/tough-sell/

For the Sadists is a link to the new Saw films promo site where u can load up pictures of your friends in to a Saw like trap then decide which one gets to survive.

http://www.saw6deathcarousel.com/

When you’re doing this please ask yourself – do u need therapy?

And now after a bit of sadism you can relax with a bit of humour. Yes the following link is pictures of what Stormtrooper’s do on there days off. Pure genius and I wish I had time to waste to do this kind of thing http://www.virginmedia.com/movies/movieextras/top10s/stormtroopers-day-off.php?ssid=1

That is all !

Family Guy - Something Something Darkside

2009-10-21T13:19:00.003+01:00

Out on

28th December

Next contestant, Mrs. Sybil Fawlty from Torquay. Specialist subject - the bleeding obvious. - Basil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers

2009-10-20T12:52:00.001+01:00

As a Cineworld card holder I pay £13 quid a month and basically get to go to any film, any showing as many times as id like for no extra charge. But not any more ……

Apparently now they have revitalised the 50’s one trick pony (Not Christiano “Sausage boy” Ronaldo) they have deemed that these showcases will cost an additional fee of £1.50. Why? Is it cause of the special 3D glasses? No it’s apparently because it costs them more to show.

Even if I keep my 3D glasses and re-use them I cannot wave this additional tax. Which brings me on to Piracy (Not of the high seas kind) but film downloads. With the sheer number of releases at the cinema and the number of screens everyone is limited to picking a few films a month to watch. Unlike in the earlier days where you would either have less choice as the cinema had only 2 screens or that u got 2 films for the price of one ticket.

Now through multitude of choice and subsequent high cinema ticket and DVD prices many people have chosen to download illegally. There have been many debates – the film industry want ISP providers to monitor internet usage and stop people downloading, personal prosecutions for copyright law and so on.

Well this is my view on the subject

1) Most 3D films are aimed at Children which means for the average family its nearly £30 of entrance fees before you even get to the popcorn stand. Make it cheaper!

2) Stop paying Multimillion pounds to really bad actors – fair enough give them a bonus for winning an Oscar but can any one really say Sienna Miller earned her money for GI Joe or that Nicole Kidman has made a decent film in the last decade.

3) Make less films but of higher quality Hollywood. Lets face it 75% of scripts that get made could have been written in crayon

4) Realise that it’s not ISP providers who should police the Piracy but the film industry. Instead of trying to put your finger in a damn – build a new damn. Re invent the Hollywood platform that is still stuck in the same model that Charlie Chaplin encountered when he stepped off the boat pre Great War

5) Give the right for Cinema viewers to demand a refund if the film was rubbish. Cause there nothing worse than paying money in to see a film and getting to the end only to realise it was pants. (Never ever allow Clive Owen to be a leading Man as this will reduce refunds)

6) We have warning for violence what about warning of artistic ambiguous endings? Nothing is worse than the credits role and you hear a murmur of WTF???

However a knight in shining armour from the film industry has emerged today to say exactly everyone not in the film industry has been saying for year – make it Cheaper!!

Yes Danny Boyle of 28 weeks later and Trainspotting has stated the obvious and told the industry make it cheaper so people can go often.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2009/oct/16/film-piracy-danny-boyle

Lets Hope this is the shot that starts the revolution

Viva La revolution !!

You will find, young man, that the future looks rosiest through the bottom of a glass – Athos, Three Musketeers (1973)

2009-10-19T11:58:00.006+01:00

Saw this today; it’s a link to one of the people in my Hall Of Fame - Oliver Reed

http://www.dangerousminds.net/index.php/site/comments/in_praise_of_oliver_reed/

I recommend you read his biography Evil Spirits detailing his career and problems with the bottle. It’s a shame people remember him more for his drinking than his acting.

However I suppose they do make better anecdotes such as smashing up a restaurant and then giving a large cheque for the damages next day, building a pub on an island in his lake so he could row over to it and removing all the doors in his house as he kept walking in to them.

But we should remember the controversy in his career with daring roles such as The Devils and of course Castaway. A head of there time and rarely shown on TV (Compared to the Musketeer trilogy) these were not easy roles for a man who could have been a main stream actor. Then there was his iconic role as Bill Sykes in Oliver!

Oliver Reeds acting career started in 1958 and worked until his death in Cyprus in 2000 (allegedly in a drinking competition) while filming Gladiator. I’d like to think after such a performance as Proximo his career would have reignited to his glory days in the 60’s and seventies rather than the drunken image on The Word he seems to be more famous for. But we’ll never know.

Further detailed biography can be found at the following links

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001657/bio

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_Reed

http://www.oliverreed.net/

All Hail Oliver Reed !!!

No, Jesus God Man that's just what they want us to do. Trap us in a steel box - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

2009-10-15T12:17:00.001+01:00

Found this article on indie wire regarding the demographics of movie goers and the future vision for 2010. I don’t like the way they have pigeon holed everyone esp. seen as my age band all have DVD recorders. Bugger bet get down to curry’s and get one.

http://www.indiewire.com/article/gordon_paddison_moviegoers_2010/

Put the good news is that "Peer group feedback trumps critics". That’s a relief; I thought it was only me that despises snooty film reviews. I can remember when Alien Vs Predator came out and a critic actually complained it lacked plot depth. Really? Isn’t the entire plot in the title?

My hopes for 2010 will be less 3D gimmicks and less franchise/remakes. One good thing is that there won’t be a Transformers film pheww. Although rumours are abound that a new Indiana Jones film be in the works for future release.

However (I know this is going to sound a bit hypocritical) I am looking forward to the new Iron man movie. Yes the first one was cheesy but I am impressed how Robert Downey Jnr has turned his career around (well apart from Tropic Thunder). If you've not seen it I recommend Kiss Kiss Bang Bang for a light easy Friday night film. I was quiet impressed.

Speaking of impressed, I’m currently watching the Second season of Damages on DVD. It’s a good bit of TV. I can’t understand why the BBC slapped it on so late. It seems the thing for terrestrial TV to but US TV on late these days. Sopranos finished at 12.45am every Wednesday and the same applied for Generation Kill.

Its no wonder my age bracket all have DVD recorders - we have to get up for work and can’t get some decent TV unless we record it. Because lets face it I'm a celebrity xfactor jungle Love Island doesn’t float my boat

The Rolling Stones say "You cant always get what you want" - They obviously went to Starbucks

2009-10-13T13:51:00.012+01:00

The thing that bemuses me about Starbucks Coffee Shop Empire is the failure of staff to comprehend what a normal coffee is. Or maybe it’s the fact I don’t understand half the stuff on the board. So i appraoched at Leeds Train Station. What can I get you? The Woman behind the counter asked. Just a coffee, milk two sugars please. Cappuccino?

Errr No a normal coffee? I replied

Oh an Americano with milk? ahh further questions. To clarify this is that just coffee? i asked. Yes what size? (On the home run) Can i have a Large?. Thats a Venty? (Fell at the final plate) Is that large? Yes (I wonder if this is what happens in an interrogation). Needless to say I got a medium cappuccino. What’s bizarre is that if I asked for a triple de-caff latte with skinny milk and a twist of badger I think I would have got what I wanted. What happened to just coffee?

The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who dont know what the hell theyre doing or who on earth they are, can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall! Decaf! Cappuccino!" - Joe Fox to Kathleen Kelly in email - You've Got Mail (1998)

People say do you want to go for a coffee? Not do you fancy going out for a chat and a triple de-caff latte with skinny milk and a twist of badger. So why is it called an Americano? Now surly the Americans aren’t the only people to drink black coffee so why do they get a name. If black coffee is an Americano them what is an Americano with milk?

Caffè Americano, Café Américano or simply Americano (the name is also spelled with varying capitalization and use of diacritics: e.g. café Americano, cafe americano, etc.) is a style of coffee prepared by adding hot water to espresso, giving a similar strength but different flavor from regular drip coffee. The strength of an Americano varies with the number of shots of espresso and the amount of water added. - Wikipedia

Im not going to ponder on the sizes of coffees as this was a running Joke in the poor comedy I Love You Man starring “When you cant get Vince Vaughn or Ben Stiller” Paul Rudd.

No mayo? This is bullshit! - Leonidas on eating a subway sandwich in Meet the Spartans (2008)

In Subway, I never get what I want i.e. a Ham Sandwich. I never know what costs more (Which Bread? Do they cost the same? Is one better hot? Do I really want it toasted if it’s got salad on it and why is cheese an extra option surly that’s a cheese and ham sandwich?). Mind you, I went to a Subway when I was in Florida and my mate asked for a BLT, The bloke behind the counter didn’t know what it was despite the sign behind him saying BLT at the price. Maybe if I’d asked for a foot long sub on rye with meatballs salad but hold the lettuce and onions grilled with cheese, he might have understood a bit more. Mind you at the look of him he’d probably been brought up on Road kill.

The Un-Magnificent Muppets in there Martyr Machines.

2009-10-07T09:54:00.002+01:00

Cyclists! What a bunch of Tw*Ts.

Now I’m not annoyed at them from the angry man in a car point of view as I don’t drive. To be fair I’m a pedestrian which galls me even more to have sum tit in lycra pants ring his bell shouting at me to get off the cycle path. Here’s a suggestion get on the road with the other traffic, get sum insurance and pay road tax you sanctimonious tree hugging git.

Oh and another thing – You weren’t wearing a helmet dip s**t so don’t quote bylaws at me!

Oh you don’t like roads cause of your fear of buses and trucks been unable to see you. Well guess what f*ck nuts (This is aimed especially at the cyclist this morning who called me a pr*ck) I can’t see cyclists billowing down the inside of a traffic jam cause there’s a bus there blocking my view. Maybe if u waited in the cue with all the other things on wheel or not cycling at a speed akin to the Tour De Snooze I wouldn’t have nearly been run over.

Rant Over :)

The Greatest Film never made in to a Console Game

2009-10-05T12:00:00.003+01:00

With the vast amount of WW2 shooters out these days from the 1st Wolfenstien and Medal of Honour to the current Call of Duty : World at War it amazes me that no one has ever thought of making Where Eagles Dare into a full 3D shoot’em up.

For those not in the know Where Eagles dare is a daring-do boys own adventure about an English Officer (Richard Burton) and an American Ranger (Clint Eastwood) parachuted in to Axis occupied Europe to infiltrate a castle on a mountain top with a splash of back stabbing and a Gestapo officer with ridiculously blonde hair that is border line fluorescent.

****Warning Spoilers****

It’s got everything – stealth in the village and infiltrating the mountain, booby traps, guns going off left right n centre while fighting there way out the castle, fisty cuffs on the top of a cable car and a break neck race to the airfield in a bus under fire. Even a satisfying bit of getting the traitor to through himself out of the plane at the end,

Now there’s about 6 different games in there already – slap a multiplayer on there and you’re laughing all the way to the bank.

If you don’t like that idea perhaps some one can make Kelly’s Heroes although it’s a very slim hope. Ah wellaAs Oddball says “Have a little faith Crapgame …. Have a little faith”

Mind you he also said “Woof Woof that’s my other dog impression”

Films that never made it to screen

2009-10-05T11:29:00.004+01:00

A nice link to Films that got the axe before they were even close to been made. Kubrick's Napoleon has to be a great loss to the industry esp asfter the amount of research http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/movies/galleries/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=13969863&imageindex=1

The American Movie Dream – Repackaged and Resold

2009-10-02T15:40:00.002+01:00

I’ve always loved the cinema since I was little. I have fond memories of watching a double bill of Empire strikes back and return of the Jedi as a child. The excitement of getting the Radio Times to see what the Christmas Movie was on ITV or BBC and the wait for the next Spielberg movie to come to the screen. Even in my teenage years and twenties reading all I could about what was going to be my celluloid fix. I immersed myself in the news and wonder of film and still do.

Yesterday saw the announcement that Halloween 3-D is now delayed so the director can finish a further project and today saw the statement of further cast signing up to the US remake of the brilliant Norwegian film Let the Right one in (Bizarrely its going to be named Let Me In??)

http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=25966

It seems to me a day doesn’t go by in the movie industry when a remake (well re-imaging as it’s preferred as they prefer to call it), Sequel or franchise is declared as the next big thing. After a summer of absolute cinema toss has just passed us I have been reflecting on what has gone wrong in Hollywood.

The films tasting the Hollywood Glitz this summer has failed to excite me. I can truly say that the only movies that I have enjoyed are District 9, the Hangover and the one day release of the scrubbed up “High Def” version of the Thing. Check them out on IMDB.com as I’m not here to review each film in turn.

All 3 films had originality and a kept the importance of story over FX. Watching each of these restores my faith in why I love the cinema.

However the flip sidesequels and franchises like Transformers 2. I have to say I have not seen this amount of dross since Pearl Harbour or more recently Australia. I went to see Transformers 2 when I was ill as i didn’t mind the first one. However I imagine the crayon snapped at the final draft of the first one and when it came to writing the second the script writers drool was the only available ink.

Often I walkout of movies as the credits go up thinking “Well that was ok-ish” and yes I even did that for The Dark Night. I think its because although many people rave about blockbuster I somehow know I’ve seen it all before.

Dead ringers do a fantastic sketch were all the characters from Lord of the rings, Star Wars and Harry potter all get confused as the story lines are far too similar and this is how I see main stream movies these days.

Don’t get me wrong I won’t rave about bizarre Art House films or experimental cinema. I like a movie with a story and a comprehensible ending. What I don’t like is to be treated like a money paying zombie that will be impressed by bright lights and big bangs.

I have one saviour though and that is European cinema. I implore anyone who will not watch a film because of subtitles to get over it as they are missing out on some of the finest movies ever made. This brings me to the other film (Well films as it was in 2 parts) I loved this summer – Mesrine

It’s a true epic set over 4 hours and 2 films detailing all you could need to know about France’s Public Enemy number 1 in the seventies. Compare this with Public Enemies with Depp and Bale in and there is only one winner

Le cinéma à jamais français